Adoption Funding Part 2: Feeling Unworthy

This is part two of a three part series on adoption funding.  If you haven’t read part 1, I encourage you to do so before reading this post!

As you read in part 1, we have been down a road like this before – a road that seems so steep that it is impossible to climb, yet for some reason unbeknownst to us (but known to God) we sense God prodding us to climb it, taking one step at a time, trusting and leaning on Him as we go.  The last time we climbed this adoption funding road, God provided in miraculous ways.  Even more miraculously, I was not worried about the funding – I asked and trusted that He would provide, because He was the one calling us to walk this road.

This time around I started out full of insecurities.  “How will we ever have enough money to adopt again?  Are we chasing a pipe dream?  Are we even worthy to fundraise? Should we be fundraising for a domestic adoption, when we could adopt from the foster system for next to nothing?”  These thoughts swirl in my head as I take my eyes off of God, our Jehovah-Jireh.  They bombard me on days when I act like Israel and forget to REMEMBER, remember the things He has done for us before and the ways He has provided!  I get worried and obsessive when I take my eyes off of my King and focus on my human limitations!

I question God and think:  Is it fair to raise funds when there are so many people who want babies that can afford a domestic infant adoption right now?  Is it fair when there are kids in the US foster system right now that need families? This seems more logical to me – there is such a need!  My logic takes over and I forget that God often calls us to do what appears irrational.  He reminds me that He called Moses to take His people across the Red Sea, where they would surely drown.  This would appear irrational to anyone, but God knew what was to come.  Moses trusted Him, the sea parted and the Israelites were saved from Pharaoh and his armies.

In our financial situation, looking just at finances and at the great need, foster adoption seems more rational (although, incredibly difficult – I applaud all foster families).  Yet, God has given me such a heart for women with unplanned pregnancies, to walk alongside them and provide them with an option besides abortion – the option of adoption!  God keeps placing this burden and passion on my heart, a desire to walk with an expectant mother and help her in one of the most pivotal moments in her life, while welcoming a child that could have otherwise been aborted, into our home.  This intense desire and longing, which continues even when I repeatedly turn it over to God, makes me believe that there is a baby and expectant mother (like Natasha, Abby’s birth mom) who need us!

Even in my weakness, God shows himself strong.  As I wrestle with insecurities, He gives me answers.  As I wonder HOW we will afford it, He provides money and shows me that He is in charge.  For example, just last week, we made the announcement that we were starting the adoption process again.  Already, two amazing thirty-one consultants are giving the proceeds from two parties to our adoption (more details to come).  In addition, Jonathan found out that his work is paying for him to get his real estate license and that, as a licensed agent, any referrals he makes to other agents will result in a commission for him.  Without trying, I booked five photoshoots (all money from photoshoots goes into our adoption fund) in one week!  Blowing us away even more, we had two friends commit to donating to our adoption and another business owner who committed to a substantial donation in exchange for a work day at his property.

When God calls He provides!  Sometimes it requires us stepping out in faith and making our needs known, so that He can use others as vessels for His provision.  Other times, He provides without us doing anything!  But, when He tells you, “this is the way, walk in it,” you can trust that in walking in it, He will provide for all of your needs!

I am choosing today to not worry about funding and to trust that God will provide exactly what we need!  $8,000 or $23,000 or somewhere in between…I trust that He will provide as He guides us!

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2 thoughts on “Adoption Funding Part 2: Feeling Unworthy

  1. Thanks so much for your post. We just recently completed our home study, and are knee-deep in trying to figure out HOW WE WILL AFFORD THIS! Thanks for your faith.

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