What I don’t want you to know…

I’ve been hesitant to write this post, but figured since this is a blog about adoption, it is important to share the peaks and valleys, the joys and the concerns.  My goal is to be real with you, my readers. … Continue reading

Adoption Update & FAQ

A common question I get about our second adoption journey is where we are at in the process, so I thought I would give a little update.

We have spent the last month filling out home study paperwork, visiting doctors for our physicals, getting fingerprinted, sending in paperwork for background checks, making our profile, and fundraising!  On the home study front, we had our first home visit with our social worker on Monday.  We are finished with the majority of our paperwork, but still have three home visits, a first aid/CPR class and a two day, sixteen hour, training on adoption.  We anticipate finishing our home study by mid-September.

On the fundraising front, God is really providing to bring this little one home!  In less than a month, we have raised $2700.  That money combined with our savings, money that will be coming in from photo shoots in the next month, and some promised donations, puts us almost at the half way point to funding our adoption (based on anticipated costs)!!!  This is incredible!  We are trusting God to provide the rest in His perfect timing!

At this point, our attorney in CA has our profile to share with expectant mothers who are due after September (we can’t have a baby placed in our home until our home study is finished.  We have also shared our profile with all of our friends and family; you never know how God will lead us to the next little one.  Once our home study is finished, we will also submit our profile to Project Cuddle, “a non-profit organization with the purpose of providing Safe & Legal Alternatives to Baby Abandonment & Helping to Pave the Way for a Successful Future.  [They] run a confidential, toll-free, 24-hour crisis hotline for scared pregnant girls and women who feel hopeless and alone. Women who feel they have no one to help them through this frightening experience of an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy.”  They also keep potential adoptive parent profiles on file, so they can share them with the women immediately.  In the last ten years, Project Cuddle has rescued 740 babies!

We have no idea how long it will take us to be matched with an expectant mother.  It could be weeks, it could be months, or it could be years.  We are praying for sooner rather than later!  Please pray with us!

We have also received a lot of other questions, so I wanted to share them and our answers:

Are you waiting to be matched until all of your fundraising is finished?

No.  We trust that God will provide in His perfect time, as He did with Abigail’s adoption.

Do you have a preference for gender?

No!  Eventually we would like to have at least one child of each gender, but we are happy with whatever child(ren) God brings us.

What are you comfortable with in terms of race and disability?

Honestly, we are praying a LOT about this one.  Before we adopted Abby, we said that we were okay with pretty much any child that needed a family and we trusted God to know what we can handle.  I think our answer is still the same, but we are really praying for God’s direction, because the community that we live in is not nearly as racially diverse as our former home and we want to ensure that our child is comfortable in his/her environment.  We also now have another child to consider (Abby) and need to be sure that we can handle it all.  Ultimately, though, I think when it comes down to it, we are comfortable with whatever God brings us.  We know He won’t give us more than we can handle, but we would appreciate it if you prayed with us on this one.   🙂

One thing we are for sure comfortable with, though, is multiples!  We both would really like twins. 🙂

Have you considered foster adoption?

Since we are fundraising, many people have asked us if we have considered foster adoption, because it is so much cheaper.  We have considered this and prayed about it a lot.  We are both pretty sure we will adopt from the foster system at some point, but now did not seem like the right time.  For one, we want to maintain Abby’s birth-order, as the oldest child in our family.  In CO, children under one that are adoptable in the foster system appear to be few and far between.  Our next adoption may be through the foster system, or we could fost-adopt years down the road, when Abby is in college or out on her own.  We don’t know, we are just trusting God and looking to Him for direction.

Have you considered International Adoption?

We have and are always open to it, but God has given us a heart for women facing unplanned pregnancies and for the unborn.  Right now, we feel called to help these women have another option (adoption) and to walk with them through part of their journey and provide a home for a few precious babes.  We have been so blessed to have an incredible relationship with Abby’s birth mother and would love to be able to help and love on other expectant mothers.

I think that’s it for now!  Keep asking questions!  I love them 🙂

We will be out of town for the next week and a half, visiting family, doing a ton of senior photos in my home town (praise God, these are paying for our trip), AND meeting our niece, who is due to arrive any day!  I likely won’t be blogging much, if at all, while we are gone, but I’ll be back at it once we are home again!  Enjoy the end of summer!

Apart From Him, I Can Do NOTHING

God blows me away.  When I strive and strive to get funding for our adoption, the donations or 31 purchases trickle in or don’t come in at all. Yet, when I get down on my knees and pray for God to provide the necessary funding, it comes in the most unexpected ways or in large, completely unexpected donations.  People we don’t even know support us.  God is teaching me, as He has before, that He is our provider.  I am not saying that He is telling me not to share our story or fundraise – in fact, I think we are supposed to, but He is teaching me that without Him, I can do nothing.  So often, I do good things, but I don’t do those good things with God.  I do them in my own power and expect results that only God’s power can obtain.  He is teaching me that it is more important to be on my knees as we go through this process (and through life), than it is to send emails, post on facebook, or talk to every person.  Those things have a place, but only when He is the priority and He is at my side.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” ~ John 15:5

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  Matthew 7:7

It’s a Party! A Photo Party!

Here is one of our upcoming fundraising events:

Microsoft Word - flyer-green.docxI just thought I would share, in case there are other adoptive parents who double as photographers looking for fundraising ideas!  The idea was one of my new friends and I am so excited to see how it turns out.  It is aimed at parents of young children.  She is inviting her friends with kids and hosting at her house.  It will be like any other kids’ party, but with a photographer (me) taking time with each kid to get professional photos.  After the kids have their photos done, they will get to have a fun dinner!  The suggested donation is $20/child and the parents will get a CD with 3 edited photos of each kid!  I’m so excited to meet more kids and families in the area, while raising funds for our adoption!  So thankful to our sweet friend for hosting and coming up with the idea!

Adoption Funding Part 3: Resources ~ Grants, Loans, and Fundraising Ideas

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. ~ Prov. 13:12

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
~ Prov. 13:12

When people find out we’ve adopted, one of the main questions we get is about funding.  How did we afford it and how can they (or someone they know) afford it?  First of all, we afforded our adoption because God provided in amazing ways.  If you haven’t read our story, you can read it here.  Second, I am by no means an expert on raising funds for an adoption, but over the last few years, I have encountered some amazing resources and ideas, so I thought I would share some with you today!

The first thing you need to know about is the Adoption Tax Credit.  This is a tax credit of up to $12,970 for eligible adoption expenses. It will only refund or cover up to your tax liability, but it can carry forward for up to 5 years. More information can be found here: http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html

The tax credit can be an incredible help.  However, you still have to have the money upfront, which many of us do not have, but there is hope!  There are grants available, interest free loans, possible employer assistance (only certain companies offer this), and you can always fundraise!

One of the first resources that I would recommend is Adopt without Debt:Creative Ways to Cover the Cost of Adoption by Julie Gumm. Her blog also some great fundraising ideas: http://juliegumm.com/page/6/?cat=18

Here are some other great websites that offer great ideas or point you to funding help:

General Overview of Grants, Loans, and Scholarships:http://www.bethany.org/assets/guides/Adoption-Financial-Resources.pdf

(please note this is not an endorsement of Bethany Christian Adoptions – I haven’t had any experience with them)

Adoption Essay Contest: http://www.adoptiongrant.net/

A fellow adoptive Mom put together a list of “The Ultimate List of Adoption Fundraisers” and it really is the ultimate list: http://www.walkingbytheway.com/blog/the-ultimate-list-of-adoption-fundraisers/

Adoption Fundraising Advice from a fellow adoptive mom: http://www.addingaburden.com/2012/08/adoption-fundraising-advice.html

Another all-inclusive list of ways to fund your adoption: http://www.myadoptionadvisor.com/how-to-afford-adoption/

These resources can be overwhelming!  Please take this journey one step at a time and pray about what the best options are for you and your family!  This is a reminder I need constantly.  I am a control-freak and love to take the bull by the horns, diving in, picking the fundraisers that I think would be best for us, without seeking God out and asking Him what He would like us to do and when He just wants us to wait on Him.  Remember that if God has called you to adopt, He will provide the funding!  He is our provider!

Adoption Funding Part 2: Feeling Unworthy

This is part two of a three part series on adoption funding.  If you haven’t read part 1, I encourage you to do so before reading this post!

As you read in part 1, we have been down a road like this before – a road that seems so steep that it is impossible to climb, yet for some reason unbeknownst to us (but known to God) we sense God prodding us to climb it, taking one step at a time, trusting and leaning on Him as we go.  The last time we climbed this adoption funding road, God provided in miraculous ways.  Even more miraculously, I was not worried about the funding – I asked and trusted that He would provide, because He was the one calling us to walk this road.

This time around I started out full of insecurities.  “How will we ever have enough money to adopt again?  Are we chasing a pipe dream?  Are we even worthy to fundraise? Should we be fundraising for a domestic adoption, when we could adopt from the foster system for next to nothing?”  These thoughts swirl in my head as I take my eyes off of God, our Jehovah-Jireh.  They bombard me on days when I act like Israel and forget to REMEMBER, remember the things He has done for us before and the ways He has provided!  I get worried and obsessive when I take my eyes off of my King and focus on my human limitations!

I question God and think:  Is it fair to raise funds when there are so many people who want babies that can afford a domestic infant adoption right now?  Is it fair when there are kids in the US foster system right now that need families? This seems more logical to me – there is such a need!  My logic takes over and I forget that God often calls us to do what appears irrational.  He reminds me that He called Moses to take His people across the Red Sea, where they would surely drown.  This would appear irrational to anyone, but God knew what was to come.  Moses trusted Him, the sea parted and the Israelites were saved from Pharaoh and his armies.

In our financial situation, looking just at finances and at the great need, foster adoption seems more rational (although, incredibly difficult – I applaud all foster families).  Yet, God has given me such a heart for women with unplanned pregnancies, to walk alongside them and provide them with an option besides abortion – the option of adoption!  God keeps placing this burden and passion on my heart, a desire to walk with an expectant mother and help her in one of the most pivotal moments in her life, while welcoming a child that could have otherwise been aborted, into our home.  This intense desire and longing, which continues even when I repeatedly turn it over to God, makes me believe that there is a baby and expectant mother (like Natasha, Abby’s birth mom) who need us!

Even in my weakness, God shows himself strong.  As I wrestle with insecurities, He gives me answers.  As I wonder HOW we will afford it, He provides money and shows me that He is in charge.  For example, just last week, we made the announcement that we were starting the adoption process again.  Already, two amazing thirty-one consultants are giving the proceeds from two parties to our adoption (more details to come).  In addition, Jonathan found out that his work is paying for him to get his real estate license and that, as a licensed agent, any referrals he makes to other agents will result in a commission for him.  Without trying, I booked five photoshoots (all money from photoshoots goes into our adoption fund) in one week!  Blowing us away even more, we had two friends commit to donating to our adoption and another business owner who committed to a substantial donation in exchange for a work day at his property.

When God calls He provides!  Sometimes it requires us stepping out in faith and making our needs known, so that He can use others as vessels for His provision.  Other times, He provides without us doing anything!  But, when He tells you, “this is the way, walk in it,” you can trust that in walking in it, He will provide for all of your needs!

I am choosing today to not worry about funding and to trust that God will provide exactly what we need!  $8,000 or $23,000 or somewhere in between…I trust that He will provide as He guides us!

Adoption Funding Part 1: God’s Provision

As we start our second adoption journey, funding is on my mind all the time!  I am sure those of you who are also on the adoption journey can relate!  Adoption is expensive (most of the time, with a few exceptions, including adoption from foster care).  As a one income family, frankly, it isn’t something we could afford, without God’s intervention and a lot of fundraising!  Over the next few days, I am going to do a three part series on Adoption Funding:

1) God’s Provision: When you step out in faith, God Provides

2) Feeling Unworthy: Should we be fundraising?  ~ My personal insecurities as we raise funds.

3) Funding Resources: Grants, Loans, and Fundraising Ideas

TODAY: God’s Provision: When you step out in faith, God provides!

I am going to start this series by sharing our story of provision, not only because I need the reminder, but because sometimes we can get so bogged down in the dollars and cents that we often forget the one who called us to adoption in the first place and what He is capable of.  Personally, this blog post is a bit of a “remembrance stone” for me (see Joshua 4) – a post to help me remember when the going gets tough!  Hopefully, it will also serve as an encouragement to you!

A little over two years ago, a time came when we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God was calling us to start the adoption journey.  It had been a desire for a long time, but we finally knew God was saying, “this is the time and this is the way – walk in it.”  The only problem: we were both still getting our graduate degrees and living on one [small] income.  We had no idea how we would afford it, but for some reason (God), we both had a peace that financial provision would come.  In fact, we hardly worried about it – we just turned it over to God and prayed (Hmm…maybe I should consider doing that this time around).

A week after we started the adoption process, Jonathan’s car started having major issues.  It was old and worth less than $200 – no joke.  We had a hard time justifying putting money in it to fix it.  We needed a new car, since we both needed them for our jobs, but did not have the money to adopt and buy a new car.  We always liked to pay cash for things, but started considering a loan, so we could use our savings to adopt.  Then, we kept praying for direction.

The next week, we went to Alabama to visit family (a trip that had been planned and paid for for months).  On our last day there, a family member wrote us a very large check to buy a new car.  She had no idea we even needed a new car – she simply said she had received an inheritance that she didn’t need, so she was buying a new car for each of her three grandchildren!  We were blown away.  God was such a good provider!!  Not only did he provide money for a new car, he provided enough money for us to get an SUV, which would make life with a little one so much easier!  This was not necessary, at all, but so representative of our lavish God (and generous family members)!  He truly is the God who gives immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine.  (Ephesians 3:20)


A month later, after we were officially matched with our first birth mom (more details can be found here), we found out that Jonathan got a new job that came with free housing in a larger apartment than we currently lived in.  His new job wouldn’t start for  two months, but when they heard that we had to have a homestudy completed, they let us move in the next week and started the free housing immediately (this saved us over $1000 a month that could go toward the adoption)!  We were, once again, blown away by God’s lavish and timely provision!  Add this to our savings and we were well on our way to affording this adoption!

After the first adoption fell through, we knew it would be slightly difficult to afford another one (we had lost about $3000 in counseling and legal fees), but we continued to trust in our God who is an amazing provider!  True to His character, God provided again!  Shortly after our second match, we received a matching grant from Dark to Dawn, provided through Lifesong.  Normally, the grant process takes over eight weeks, but they were able to get it processed in just shy of two weeks, so we were able to raise funds before our little angel joined us.  The matching grant was for $2,500 and our generous friends matched it and more, providing just enough to cover the adoption expenses, so that we didn’t have to take out a loan!  We even had friends share it with their friends and received donations from people we had never met! It was difficult to ask for help, but it was amazing to see how much joy people had in giving and how they all feel a special connection to Abigail, now, as a result!  God used his people as vessels to help build our family!   They all served a different role: some as financial providers, others as prayer warriors, and some as emotional support!


Many of the people who helped bring our little girl home

Then, to make it even better, a year after Abby was born, we were able to file for the Adoption Tax Credit.  Over the next few years, we will receive a tax credit, up to our tax liability, because of the adoption!  Hopefully, this will help pay for future adoptions!

Lesson learned: if God is calling us to something, don’t let finances or your fears stop you!  God provides and will make a way!  He is Jehovah-Jireh (Genesis 22:1-14), our provider!

Some scriptures to meditate on:

Psalms 50:10 ~ For all the animals of the forest are mine, and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.

Zephaniah 3:17 ~ The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.

Ephesians 3:20-21 ~ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Philippians 4:19 ~ And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:25-34 ~

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I hope and pray that God provides for your adoption, as He did for ours.  Sometimes he provides in ways that we do not think are ideal (loans) or in mysterious ways or through redirection, but I believe wholeheartedly that if God is calling you to something, He will make a way!

How has God provided in your life?