I am Thankful

As one goes through the adoption process, it is easy to get caught up in the difficulties, the frustrations, and the fear, but God has been reminding me over and over that this is a time to be thankful!  Even though this road can be a roller coaster, I have so many things to be thankful for and today, I am going to share some of those with you – from the magnificent to the frivolous.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Phil 4:6-7 (emphasis mine)

I am thankful for:

1) Our God who sent his son to die for us, that we might be saved.  This same God wants and desires a daily relationship with us.  He guards the way of the godly (Psalm 1:6), protecting us and guiding us. We can rest and not worry, knowing that if we are turning to Him, He will make our way clear! He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28).  He is the God of immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine! (Ephesians 3:20) The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)

2) My amazing husband, who sacrificially cares for Abby and I everyday, putting our needs ahead of his own.

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3) My sweet Abby-girl, who brings joy everywhere she goes.  Her laugh, her smiles, her cuddles, and her sweet little voice make every day an amazing day.  As we go through this adoption process again, she is my constant reminder of God’s faithfulness.  He truly gave us more than we could ask or imagine with this sweet little girl!

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4) Cliche as it is, I am thankful for our family, for how much they love and care for us! We were blessed with a large family and we wouldn’t trade it any day!  I am thankful that they are willing to travel miles to spend time with us and that when we are together, it is as if we have never been apart.

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papagramma-25) I am beyond thankful for Natasha (Abby’s birth mom) and her amazing family.  They have become like a second family to us and we are so grateful for the relationship that God has given us and the story He has written for us!  It is not what any of us ever pictured, but it is incredible!  I am so thankful that Natasha made the courageous choice to give her baby life!

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6) Steve and Donna, the couple that Natasha stayed with during her pregnancy.  Without their willingness to open up their home, we would have never met Natasha or welcomed our sweet Abby-girl to our family!

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7) Technology: living far away from family, I am so thankful for face-time, the internet, and cheap phone plans that keep us connected.  I love that because of face time, my parents aren’t strangers to Abby, even when she hasn’t seen them for months!

8) All of our family and friends who have walked the adoption journey with us – offering prayer, a listening ear during the tough and exciting times, and more than generous financial support!  We couldn’t adopt with out you!

9) Amazing friends who are there through thick and thin and point us to Christ!

10) Our cozy house, which truly is a blessing from God.  I love that we have a guest room for our friends and family to stay in and that it has been full throughout the month of November!

11) Online adoption support communities – it is such a blessing to have people who understand the journey, because they have traveled it!

12) That we get to put our Christmas decorations up tomorrow!  I am excited that it is officially okay to watch Christmas movies tomorrow!

13) Our new home town of Castle Rock!  I love this sweet community and all the fun events they have!

I could go on and on, but you get the idea!

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My “Wish”

Cover of "I Wished for You: an Adoption S...

Cover via Amazon

I was reading a book to Abby about adoption last night (why is that all of my posts start with books I’ve read or am reading?).  The Mama had always told the little bear that he was her wish.  He wanted to know more about that:

“Did you wish for me all day, Mama?” Barley asked.  “Or only when the stars were out?”

“All the time,” said Mama, softly, “I wished for you with my morning coffee, and when I made my bed.  I couldn’t get my wish for you out from in my head.” (Richmond, Marianne, I Wished for You; an adoption story, pp. 15-16)

While the whole book is a great kids book about adoption (not my favorite, but still great), this part really hit home with me, because lately I have been “wishing” for another little “cub” to join our family.

Just to make something clear, I am incredibly grateful for Abby and if she is the only child that God has for us, I will be content, but He has birthed in me a desire for another child.  I would love for Abby to have a sibling soon.  She is almost 18 months and I was hoping for an 18-24 month gap, so my clock is starting to tick-tock louder than normal.  I have to keep reminding myself that God’s timing is perfect and He knows the age gap that my children need.

Last week, my wishing started to become more frequent.  You see, Abby’s birthmom called last asking us if we were ready for another baby (yes, of course!), because she was going to be chatting with a friend considering placing her baby for adoption and she wanted to know if she could present us as potential parents.  We have been hoping and praying that God would bring us a match like this, because in a designated adoption (where the birthmom picks the adoptive parents prior to going to an agency), the cost is reduced by $12,000+, which makes it much more feasible financially.  This is all very preliminary and the friend hasn’t even decided if she is going to place for adoption, but it got me thinking about and wishing for our little cub even more.

Now, a little cub is all I can think about.  As mama said in the book, I am wishing for a little one with my morning coffee, while I clean house, while I play with Abigail.  I told a friend a couple days ago, adoption and a new baby are my every other thought.  It is the thought that is sitting there, waiting for me to be done with my current thought, so it can jump to the forefront again.

Yes, we want another baby, but we want God to bring us a baby in His time – the baby (and birthmom) that He has for our family.  It is easy to get caught-up in trying to make it happen, especially when a cub is my every other thought, but God keeps reminding me to be patient and wait on Him.  We are praying for direction – should we go to an agency, should we wait for a friend to connect us (could take years), should we have a home study done, so we can place our profile online?  Right now, we are just waiting and praying.

I am not always the best at waiting on direction and I wish I was better at laying this on the alter, so I would stop obsessing, but since it is my every other thought, I am using the reminder as an opportunity to pray, pray, pray for our little one and his/her birthmom!